We Miss You...

So here we are allowing ourselves to sit in the pain and grief. Allowing ourselves to experience the uncomfortableness in the hopes that over time the memories will provide more smiles than tears... in good time, however long that takes. The outpouring of thoughts, kind words, expressions of love has really been amazing. Nick and I have appreciated every comment and thought.

My mom and I were talking last night about how a dog with some special needs can leave so much more of an impact because we do so much more for them. I never really stopped to think about how every decision I made was somehow based with Tink's best interest in mind. Kristin and Spencer so graciously brought dinner and their friendship to our dinner table last night and every so often I would look over at the couch making sure her little head hadn't popped up and she didn't need anything. I can move a table chair and not worry about her bumping into it, yet I'm still so careful to keep the pathway clear.

Details and memories that we thought were lost in time instantly become fresh. The red towel I folded this morning was from the vet's office almost 2 years ago when she had surgery to remove some tumors. The way the kitchen counter is set up to have all Tink's feeding needs easily met, a small container of food, her supplements, and snacks all next to the toaster for easy access. The bottom row of CD's has been knocked over by her and we don't have the heart or desire to fix them...
The blankets so lovingly given to her from Patti and so many other kind friends over the years. The snuggle ball cover that we had kept after the bed had died had special significance to Nick. We deemed it appropriate that no other dog should use it and Molly and I brought it down to the dumpster for it's final good-bye. That bed was Tink's favorite and it helped her heal from the surgery 2 years ago...

Nick and I have another day together. We went to Dunkins in Mt Joy and with coffee and a bagel sandwich we reminisced and laughed and cried for over an hour. The house was strangely quiet when we came in, no barky dog in her crate to greet us. Her leash and harness and collar and her 50 different clothing options are all around the house. At some point I will create a scrap book of our darling Little One. I'll need some time, but it will be a beautiful creation and expression of all the love and joy that has been shared.

I think our posts will continue at least for a while. I know that some may be sad, but I'm hoping that some will be nostalgic and hit upon the beautiful memories that we shared. Nick and I were wandering through some older posts and it was so wonderful to read through all the great things that she did and we did together. We laughed that even though we said she wasn't going to sleep in bed with us, posts from as early as may 2006 indicate she was already climbing in bed with us!!! The pictures of her show such life and vitality and an energy. That's the Tinker we want to and will choose to remember.

I'm going to upload a short video clip of her from a few years ago that I don't think ever made it to the blog...