Sadness

My heart is sad for so much this evening, I don't know how to clearly articulate much of it. From the people I serve at work to the dogs and people I volunteer for and with... We have so many dogs that need to come into the rescue from a puppymill mama with medical conditions to older ones with little vision, to owner surrenders due to divorce...

I only work the home visit end of things and foster when we can (more on that soon....), but even this side of things has been extra busy, but not necessarily with approved homes. I wish potential adopters would stop and consider all the parts that go together in an all volunteer based rescue. This is a multi-pronged process including applications, reference checks, initial phone calls, home visits, matching the dog to the family, etc etc. Each volunteer works a paying job in addition to the volunteer job. I know that within the home visit side of things, I need to find a local volunteer who returns a phone call or email that is local to the applicant. If that person hasn't done a visit before, there is some training and information sharing on the process. The home visit volunteer is connected with the foster parent for any specific information they might be looking for at the home. This information gets relayed to the board and the foster dog coordinators as best as possible. It can be time consuming and take longer than any of us want it to take.

We had one app that came in and went from application to initial phone call to home visit set up in less than a week and yet that was too long for the family and they withdrew their app. Sigh, but we don't do what we do for applicants like that. We do this for the dogs and for the families that truly want them and are willing to wait a little bit if needed and put the time and energy into the dogs appropriately. Can you imagine an impatient person trying to work with a rescue dog who is trying to adjust (again) to a new home and living environment? Ikes...

My heart is sad for Tink tonight. I get these waves, not as often any more, but they wash over me and at times I can barely breathe at the thought that she is gone forever. The pain feels sharp and is suffocating, but usually just as quickly as it comes, it leaves. I wish like anything that she was snuggled up tight next to me tonight...I'd be rubbing her little velvety ears and smooch her soft little noggin'.

I wanted to get a new rose for her this evening, but was totally side tracked with rescue stuff... tomorrow morning. I want to go and find another beautiful reminder of the beautiful life that was lived. The same beautiful life that will live inside of my heart for as long as I live.

I wasn't this sad all day. I actually had a nice day at work today....nice sessions, time to do some paperwork and planning....Everything came to a point this evening and now I sit here and think which is so incredibly dangerous.

We'll make it through, just taking 1 step at a time (and towards the bedroom to go to sleep!!!)